Where to start, and how to finish?

I’m starting to write an ebook. It feels awesome, but I’m a bit squeaky at it. I like the fact that I can control the publication process, eliminating the long delays of finding a publisher and waiting for my book to be printed. 

I’ve been thinking of various subject areas that I am passionate about, that I can share with an equally transpiring audience. I’ve enjoyed releasing music till now, and it’s done wonders for my subscriber numbers and traffic. I’ve received tons of comments from people about how much they liked my music and how helpful and inspiring they found it. Maybe I can now create music to a reader’s ears?!

So here I am, sitting in front of my computer and staring at the seemingly insurmountable task represented by a new writing assignment. Flashbacks of my Bachelor of Arts Degree that took place scarring me 18 years ago come before me and blind me, setting me back! How can I possibly fit any large and comprehensive topic into one e-book? Maybe the answer is that I can’t? Or maybe I can? After all, millions of precedents of authors that have successfully done so come up on my search engine here.

Like any project that deals with a topic of significant breadth, I guess an outline is required now? How do I start to develop a theme for the content? Or can it simply be disseminated throughout the piece? A million questions present themselves in my mind, and now that voice appears – “your’e not good enough”. In response I say “only the most reputable sources should be used for this content, think positive!” And now I think I have my topic of conversation for my e-book, and perhaps even a title, “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?”

My first book just could be dedicated to suffers of abuse as children? Now thats a topic I’m passionate about!  Somehow it will provide the  assistance people need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim their life. Drawing on two decades of abuse as a child and young person, messy relationships in my adulthood, and a decade of experience as a Life Coach, I can recognise the widespread effects of abuse and create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and recovery. 

As victims of abuse we become adults having difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. We develop fears of abandonment that lead us to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, self-sabotage and frustration. I think I have the first paragraph to chapter 1 of my book! Here goes!


Act like a lady, think like a man


Ladies, be smart about who you sleep with. Be aware that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, I don’t think anyone is going to change his mind just because you two are going out and spending intimate time together. You could be the most exquisite girl/woman on mother earth – but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he’s going to treat you like sports fish. The term “gold digger” is one of the traps men set to keep you off their money trail. They created that term for you so that they can have all their money and still get everything they want from you. Revealing that you’re a keeper is no guarantee that this man won’t walk away. Some men really are just sport fishing and have no intention of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the case with this man, then let him walk. He’s not the guy you’re looking for. As women I believe that we teach a man how to treat us. As women I believe that we should act with class and a higher sense of respect for ourselves in a day and age that promotes being bait for sport fishing, so that my daughter and your daughter’s have better role models. In my experience – men respect standards too – so let’s get some!


Today I was informed that I need to start writing on my blog again, so here I am Chris! Thank you for pushing me and giving me all the answers to the millions of questions that I had for you today! Words fail to describe or begin to explain how blessed I feel in this transition in my life. What I thought would be the most impossible thing, has become my anchor of courage. I have had the most inspiring and amazing influences in my life since this last lunar eclipse that we had on May 25th. I guess that there were several incidences before and between this period that led me to this peak and transition also. Namely, love for myself has been an ongoing struggle throughout my life. Feeling a true sense of self worth has been constant work. I can see how my perceived pain, and my perceived loss have been perfect in a very uncanny, weird, paradoxical kind of way. I feel that this is a time in my life, that because I am finally giving myself permission to focus on my own healing and allowing myself the time to do so, that I am actually on a path that feels really really really OK! And even though it is a constant back and forth struggle with the stretching of my comfort zone trying to ark me back into the known, I find myself more and more willing to discover and delve into the unknown. See, what I didn’t know, that I didn’t know, was that I am worthy to be all of myself, and that it is SO ok. I truly believe the lyrics to my song “Beautiful”, and no longer feel like a hypocrite singing the lines. It’s a really nice space to be in.

Domestic violence

Speaking up about what I went through as a child took a lot of courage. I never thought that I could one day be so open about it and share it in my music. Today I had a radio interview for East Side 89.7fm and spoke about it further. Sometimes, it takes speaking about what goes on behind closed doors to truly make a difference. I feel that its important to ask questions like “what do children need?” I know the answer from my own childhood, and it was to have a safe and secure home, free of violence and abuse, and a father that loved and protected me. But unfortunately, for too many children (boys and girls) home is far from a safe haven. Every year, hundreds of millions of children are exposed to domestic violence at home, and this has a powerful and profound impact on their lives and hopes for the future. These children not only watch one parent violently assaulting another, they often hear the distressing sounds of violence and abuse far too early on in age.

Violence against women and girls continues to be a global epidemic that kills, tortures, and maims physically, psychologically, sexually and economically. It is one of the most pervasive of human rights violations, denying women and girls equality, security, dignity, self-worth, and their right to enjoy fundamental freedoms.

Violence against women is present in every country, cutting across boundaries of culture, class, education, income, ethnicity and age. Even though most societies proscribe violence against women, the reality is that violations against women’s human rights are often sanctioned under the garb of cultural practices and norms, or through misinterpretation of religious tenets. Moreover, when the violation takes place within the home, as is very often the case, the abuse is effectively condoned by the tacit silence and the passivity displayed by the state and the law enforcing machinery.

The global dimensions of this violence are alarming, as highlighted by studies on its incidence and prevalence. No society can claim to be free of such violence, the only variation is in the patterns and trends that exist in countries and regions. Specific groups of women are more vulnerable, including minority groups, indigenous and migrant women, refugee women and those in situations of armed conflict, women in institutions and detention, women with disabilities, female children, and elderly women.

My radio interview specifically focused on domestic violence, the most prevalent yet relatively hidden and ignored form of violence against women and girls. While reliable statistics are hard to come by, studies estimate that, from country to country, between 20 and 50 per cent of women have experienced physical violence at the hands of a man. This is such a massive number of women and another reason why I feel so strongly about speaking up against it.