Where to start, and how to finish?

I’m starting to write an ebook. It feels awesome, but I’m a bit squeaky at it. I like the fact that I can control the publication process, eliminating the long delays of finding a publisher and waiting for my book to be printed. 

I’ve been thinking of various subject areas that I am passionate about, that I can share with an equally transpiring audience. I’ve enjoyed releasing music till now, and it’s done wonders for my subscriber numbers and traffic. I’ve received tons of comments from people about how much they liked my music and how helpful and inspiring they found it. Maybe I can now create music to a reader’s ears?!

So here I am, sitting in front of my computer and staring at the seemingly insurmountable task represented by a new writing assignment. Flashbacks of my Bachelor of Arts Degree that took place scarring me 18 years ago come before me and blind me, setting me back! How can I possibly fit any large and comprehensive topic into one e-book? Maybe the answer is that I can’t? Or maybe I can? After all, millions of precedents of authors that have successfully done so come up on my search engine here.

Like any project that deals with a topic of significant breadth, I guess an outline is required now? How do I start to develop a theme for the content? Or can it simply be disseminated throughout the piece? A million questions present themselves in my mind, and now that voice appears – “your’e not good enough”. In response I say “only the most reputable sources should be used for this content, think positive!” And now I think I have my topic of conversation for my e-book, and perhaps even a title, “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?”

My first book just could be dedicated to suffers of abuse as children? Now thats a topic I’m passionate about!  Somehow it will provide the  assistance people need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim their life. Drawing on two decades of abuse as a child and young person, messy relationships in my adulthood, and a decade of experience as a Life Coach, I can recognise the widespread effects of abuse and create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and recovery. 

As victims of abuse we become adults having difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. We develop fears of abandonment that lead us to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, self-sabotage and frustration. I think I have the first paragraph to chapter 1 of my book! Here goes!

Act like a lady, think like a man

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Ladies, be smart about who you sleep with. Be aware that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, I don’t think anyone is going to change his mind just because you two are going out and spending intimate time together. You could be the most exquisite girl/woman on mother earth – but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he’s going to treat you like sports fish. The term “gold digger” is one of the traps men set to keep you off their money trail. They created that term for you so that they can have all their money and still get everything they want from you. Revealing that you’re a keeper is no guarantee that this man won’t walk away. Some men really are just sport fishing and have no intention of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the case with this man, then let him walk. He’s not the guy you’re looking for. As women I believe that we teach a man how to treat us. As women I believe that we should act with class and a higher sense of respect for ourselves in a day and age that promotes being bait for sport fishing, so that my daughter and your daughter’s have better role models. In my experience – men respect standards too – so let’s get some!

Inspiration

Today I was informed that I need to start writing on my blog again, so here I am Chris! Thank you for pushing me and giving me all the answers to the millions of questions that I had for you today! Words fail to describe or begin to explain how blessed I feel in this transition in my life. What I thought would be the most impossible thing, has become my anchor of courage. I have had the most inspiring and amazing influences in my life since this last lunar eclipse that we had on May 25th. I guess that there were several incidences before and between this period that led me to this peak and transition also. Namely, love for myself has been an ongoing struggle throughout my life. Feeling a true sense of self worth has been constant work. I can see how my perceived pain, and my perceived loss have been perfect in a very uncanny, weird, paradoxical kind of way. I feel that this is a time in my life, that because I am finally giving myself permission to focus on my own healing and allowing myself the time to do so, that I am actually on a path that feels really really really OK! And even though it is a constant back and forth struggle with the stretching of my comfort zone trying to ark me back into the known, I find myself more and more willing to discover and delve into the unknown. See, what I didn’t know, that I didn’t know, was that I am worthy to be all of myself, and that it is SO ok. I truly believe the lyrics to my song “Beautiful”, and no longer feel like a hypocrite singing the lines. It’s a really nice space to be in.